Without going on and on about it, I’m pleased to report that the swimsuit arrived, and was only the slightest bit roomy. I was able to put it on, hop in a hotel pool with my kids, and splash with them until they tired. (Well, until I tired, at least. My kids would never admit fatigue if there was more pool time to be had.)
I didn’t conquer my fear of pools; water is every bit the nightmare inside my mind that it’s ever been, but for one weekend I was able to quiet my inner demons just slightly enough to get in with the boys. I may not have enjoyed being in the water, but I certainly enjoyed my kids being in the water next to me. And that’s enough.
And honestly, putting on that swimsuit and looking in the mirror wasn’t nearly as depressing as I thought it would be. The hotel mirrors were probably angled. That must’ve been it. Surely it couldn’t be that my self-consciousness is finally leaving me alone…could it?